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BACK ISSUES | DECEMBER 2009 | CURRENT ISSUE
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Ask Dr Grugni
DR ANTHONY GRUGNI, MD, answers your questions
with concrete and practical tips to help you tackle
important and troubling issues.
 I have not heard anything from him... |
I really love a boy. I think he loves me too but when I seek his attention it seems that he doesn’t love me at all. My friends say that in the chemistry lab he tries his best to get a sneak-peek of me and that he has that kind of feeling for me, but I’m not hearing anything from him and I’m not convinced by my friend’s words. Help! He is kind of a shy boy and quite hesitant to talk to girls.
Confused Girl / Bhubaneshwar
Dear girl, the situation is quite clear: the boy you like is shy, is hesitant to talk to girls, he never gave you any concrete sign of his feelings for you. Therefore he is too immature to start a relationship or is not at all interested in you (whatever your friends may say!). In either case, you will do better to stop daydreaming about ‘love’ (most probably just a temporary infatuation) and get down to your responsibilities as a student and a member of your family. |
 She doesn't talk to me anymore |
I’m in Std XI. My friend has a boyfriend. She can’t talk to him regularly so I have been conveying her messages to him. In that we became good friends and now share a good compatibility. My friend thinks that I’m attracting him towards me and she doesn’t talk to me anymore. How do I convince her?
A. K. (Age 16) / Nagpur
Dear girl, if your friend does not have the time to talk regularly to her boyfriend she should not have asked you to convey her messages to him. That boy is free to talk to whomsoever he wants and make friendships as he likes, with you or anyone else. If your relationship with him is just a “good friendship”, do not feel guilty and in future, stop conveying messages around! |
 I am not so clever |
I am a student of Std X. I am very simple and an average student. I look very innocent and so my classmates do not talk to me. When girls make fun of me and laugh at my activities, I feel very bad. I cannot speak in public and I become very nervous to talk to people. I am not so clever and so everyone fools me. What should I do to overcome my weaknesses?
Vibha / Jaipur
Dear girl, the way you look and judge yourself is a clear indication of your low self-esteem: “I am very simple”, “average student”, “I cannot speak in public”, “I become very nervous to talk”, “I am not so clever”. God gives gifts to everyone in different ways, at a physical, psychological and spiritual level. You have not yet discovered the gifts given to you and focus only on what you call “weaknesses”. At the age of 15 you have plenty of time to work on your weak points and discover your strong ones. If you look into yourself you will discover many beautiful qualities like: being honest, sincere, loyal, loving, God-fearing and hardworking. These and many other qualities make you lovable. Do not worry about what some people may say; you certainly have other friends who understand, appreciate and love you. |
 I wish to be his closest friend |
I’m 16 years old. I’ve a friend whom I love a lot. But I observe that he doesn't love me the same way. Actually we rarely talk at the school. Still, I love him very much; so much so that the entire day I think of him, wishing that I become his closest friend. I'm straight, of course, but I don’t know why I’m so attracted towards him.
Ryan / Jaipur
Dear Ryan, the feelings you have for your classmate seem to indicate a kind of infatuation you have towards him. At 16 this can happen, though I believe that you are ‘straight’. It is necessary that you find out what attracts you so much towards him. Is it some physical quality, his success in sports, or because he is intelligent, smart and fun-loving? If, for example, you are timid and an introvert, you may feel attracted by these qualities in him that you don’t have and would like to possess. Try to talk more to this friend and get to know him better. By understanding him, you will understand more about your feelings, attractions and about yourself. |
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with the subject line ‘Ask Dr. Grugni’