Teen Space

Some people welcome new experiences and new people. They look forward to any opportunity to socialize. They're often the first to introduce themselves and they jump into a conversation easily. Amit is like this. For him, being friendly and outgoing is natural, energizing, and fun. It doesn't take much effort at all. Others are more like Amit's friend Shreya. Shreya has always thought of herself as quiet and shy. She prefers to warm up slowly to new people or situations. Some people may mistakenly think that Shreya is stand-offish or unfriendly. But it just takes time to get to know her. Shreya's classmates know she is a caring friend and a great listener.

What is shyness?
Shyness is an emotion that affects how a person feels and behaves around others. It can mean feeling uncomfortable, self-conscious, nervous, bashful, timid or insecure. People who feel shy sometimes notice physical sensations like blushing or feeling speechless, shaky or breathless. They might hesitate to say or do something because they're feeling unsure of themselves and they're not ready to be noticed.
New and unfamiliar situations can bring out shy feelings — like the first day of school, meeting someone new or speaking in front of a group for the first time. People are less likely to feel shy in situations where they know what to expect, feel sure of what to do or say, or are among familiar people.
Shy feelings can be mild, medium or intense — depending on the situation and the person. Someone who often feels shy might think of himself/herself as a shy person. People who are shy may need more time to get used to change. They might prefer to stick with what's familiar. People who are shy often hesitate before trying something new. They often prefer watching others before joining in on a group activity. They usually take longer to warm up to new people and situations.
Sometimes being quiet and introverted is a sign that someone has a naturally shy personality. But that's not always the case. Being quiet is not always the same as being shy.

Why are some people shy?
Genetics. Besides determining our physical traits, genes also influence certain personality traits, including shyness. About 20% of people have a genetic tendency to be naturally shy. But not everyone with a genetic tendency to be shy develops a shy temperament. Life experiences also play a role.
Life experiences. When people are faced with a situation that may lead them to feel shy, how they deal with that situation can shape their future reactions to similar situations. For example, if people who are shy approach new things little by little, it can help them become more confident and comfortable. But if they feel pushed into situations they don't feel prepared for, or if they are teased or bullied, it can make them even more shy.
The examples other people set can also play a role in whether a person learns to be shy or not. If the parents of a shy child are overly cautious or overprotective, it can teach the child to back away from situations that might be uncomfortable or unfamiliar.

Shy strength
Those who are naturally shy have gifts that they might not appreciate in themselves. For example, because shy people may prefer listening to talking, they sometimes become really good listeners (and what friend doesn't appreciate that!).
They might also become sensitive to other people's feelings and emotions. Because of their sensitivity and listening skills they are especially caring toward others, and interested in how others feel. They are often considered the finest of friends.