It's all about you!

Anyone who's ever been on a flight has heard the announcement: If the oxygen mask drops and you're travelling with small children or others needing assistance, put your mask on first — before you help them. The reason is simple. If something happens to you, you can't help anyone else.

In our world of high stress and up-to-the-second communications, too many of us endlessly fulfil obligations to everybody we can think of — except to ourselves.

Sometimes, for your own mental, physical, psychological and spiritual well-being — and so you can help others — you need to stop and grab your mask. The focus needs to be on you — from God's perspective.

God created each one of us, offering us His unreserved love. That love should be reflected in the way we treat others — who are also loved by God — as well as in how we treat ourselves. Then what we do for ourselves will radiate joy, patience and acceptance in our own lives and in the lives of those around us.

The friendship gift

Surrounding yourself with friends and family helps you deal with life's ups and downs. A support network of positive people who share your goals, feelings and experiences helps you feel less stressed and more upbeat.

Having friends also means being a friend by listening, caring, reaching out. Above all, be a friend to yourself. Says a writer on an online blog: “Have we forgotten that the best friend we can have is ourselves? It's great to spread sunshine to others but even more so to allow sunshine into our own lives.”

Close your eyes and imagine that you are your own best friend. Decide to really love yourself and to nurture that relationship. That includes eating and sleeping right, exercising, having fun, and, generally, looking after your health.

Think happy!

For Dr Peale, the well-known author (most notably of The Power of Positive Thinking), the key to the “good life” is found in avoiding negativity. “Thinking happy” does lead to a better life. Many problems can be solved if they're viewed as opportunities.

In addition to keeping a positive outlook, share that joy-filled approach with others. A simple smile, passed on to family, friends and even strangers, can make them, and you, feel a whole lot better.

Pardon me — and you

Life is messy. Mistakes happen. But too often we hold decisions and actions, events and circumstances against others and ourselves.

Maybe you forgot someone's birthday, or someone forgot yours? Perhaps it was a bad financial decision, or just a wrong thing to say or do? Possibly it's something more serious, like dishonesty or bad judgement on the job?

When you cannot let go of what's happened, your present is overshadowed by the past. Even your physical well-being is at stake. Feelings of anger, resentment and disillusionment have a powerful negative effect on your nervous and immune systems. Such feelings also lead to helplessness and hopelessness.

Forgiveness frees us to live and love in the present and future. When you forgive, you leave your own baggage behind and help others to get rid of theirs. Forgiveness is letting go; it's a loving cancellation of a debt, for the person you forgive and yourself.

Today, forgive someone who has hurt you — or pardon yourself for a past mistake. Accept yourself and others, faults and all. You'll be able to embrace today without resentment and, with the freedom to find inner peace, move on.

Just say “No!” — sometimes

For many people, every minute of every day seems scheduled with work and family obligations, as well as religious and community responsibilities. The cause of this perpetual motion is often saying “Yes” to everybody else's priorities, and “No” to your own.

The answer: Take a break. Schedule some downtime at the start or end of your day. Step away from the technology that keeps you constantly in touch, and the appointments and activities that keep you busy; spend some “face time” with the people you love.

One woman stopped checking her e-mails and doing other job-related tasks before getting to work, and treated herself to a work-free breakfast at a diner. She found herself enjoying conversation with other customers and in a more relaxed frame of mind to begin her work day.

Slow down with simple reminders, like a small note on the phone to take a breath before answering. Treat yourself to time for your favourite activity, hobby or relaxing pastime. Maybe join a club where you can also meet new friends, or try a weekend getaway. Perhaps you can spend a half hour a day doing absolutely nothing.

One family sets aside Monday evenings as their special time together. Mother, father and daughter prepare dinner, and then sit and talk about what's going on and what lies ahead in their lives.

These breaks in the routine contribute greatly to nourishing and caring for yourself.

Seeking help from above

In our relationships with others, and as we face our everyday activities, there's a source of help and hope: God, who created us and loves us unconditionally.

Staying spiritually centred and connected is critical to loving ourselves as God loves us. Reading scriptures and other spiritual literature can help our relationship with God. Daily prayer gives strength and healing.

An employee reflected on how morning prayer is part of the day's start, observing, “It's the only thing to get me through. 'God,' I'll say, 'just be there with me, guide me, and help me accept the things I'm powerless to change.'”

Prayer nurtures that spark of God's love within each of us. You realise that you live within the light of God's love. We take care of ourselves out of gratitude for all God has done for us.

3-Step Solution to Stress

Yes you can! When stress hits, think in terms of solutions, not problems. Review your achievements. To keep life positive, do something you love: take a long walk; write a poem; read a book. This will refuel your energy and refresh you.
Do what's best for you. Each day, work to improve your diet, and to get enough rest and exercise. Rid your life of clutter, both in terms of things and of commitments and tasks. Concentrate on what's valuable and uplifting.
Understand the big picture. During any stressful situation, ask yourself: “What matters most here?” Chances are that the problem won't matter next month or perhaps even tomorrow. Take a breath and say a prayer of thanksgiving to God who's with you in good times and bad.