NIRMALA REGO

Every parent wants their child to come first and their expectations of their children keep rising as they wish to live their dreams through their children.

How do parents vaccinate themselves and their children from the exam fever epidemic during the key years of education? As a parent, I could probably make a few suggestions having suffered the illness myself, when my elder daughter was appearing for her 10th standard exams, five years ago. She had a severe sports injury that hampered her study time. But with a positive attitude and faith in God, she was able to come out in flying colours.

This year, I have a double whammer with my daughter now in the final year of graduation and my younger son in Std X. Examination fever could have hit its peak if we had not consciously vaccinated ourselves against it.

As a first step, I took leave from my lucrative job to give my family first priority. This was a major challenge for me, but I realised that it was not about me, but about them. It may not be the most practical solution for all families, but if we are willing to cut corners where expenses are concerned, then it is not so tough.

Create a supportive environment that shows our children that we trust them. Inculcate in children from a young age that they are responsible for their actions. This brings about a high level of responsibility in them which comes forth in their key years.

Do not nag. It just backfires. Allow them time out with friends, to watch television, go for a movie or play a sport. However, insist on setting priorities and goals.

However, there will be times when children will be tired, irritable or hyper. It is at this time that we, as mature parents, must remain calm, and not retaliate, by providing positive reassurance and support. We must remember that the child is more important than the examination.

Do not get into discussions with other parents on the study schedules of their children. This encourages unhealthy competition. Each child's style of studying is different and we as parents must respect them. Different children have different talents, strengths and qualities, all not necessarily in academics.

Always correct children prior to exams in a positive manner, providing motivation and making comparisons are a 'no-no'. Assuring children that we as parents are with them through thick and thin will help them to find comfort at home and not look for solace outside the home. Encourage them to give of their best in their own eyes, so that they compete only with themselves, by bettering their own record.

I have always told my children that they are special and are God's gift to me. I will always love them come what may.