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BACK ISSUES | FEBRUARY 2010 | CURRENT ISSUE
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Ask Dr Grugni
DR ANTHONY GRUGNI, MD, answers your questions
with concrete and practical tips to help you tackle
important and troubling issues.
 I think I love… |
I am 15 and I think I love a girl. She is in my school and is 14-years-old. I feel that she is the best. What should I do? My friends say that I should propose to her. But I am very confused. What is the right age to have a love affair?
K.K. / Allahabad
I am a 14-year-old girl and I think I like a boy who’s 1 year elder to me. We used to talk very nicely before but now he talks with me in a different manner and I think it’s because I’m always running after him to talk to me. I’m really upset with this. I am unable to control my feelings for him. I decided to stay away from him but somehow I again started talking to him. He even said sorry to me when I stopped talking to him and asked me the reason. I told him that we fight a lot and I get upset because of this. He said that he’ll never fight with me again but still he behaves in the same manner. I don’t know whether he’s wrong or I am. I am too confused about my feelings for him. What should I do?
A.S. / Delhi
Dear friends, both of you are just “thinking” of loving someone, are not sure about it and are confused about your feelings. I suggest you build this relationship as a good friendship, stop getting upset about emotional feelings and talk to one another in a simple and friendly way. Why should every emotional upset become a “love affair”? Friendship is a beautiful and pure form of love, free from possessiveness and does not need any ‘proposal’. Friendship is free. Love affairs, at your age, frequently lead to a waste of time, mistakes and confusion. |
 Should we take him to a psychiatrist? |
I'm a 15-year-old girl. My little brother of 13 was a great student once - he always came first, but today we are unable to understand what has happened to him. He doesn't even want to go to school; he has not attended for about six months. We are very tense about his future. He doesn't want to be with boys of his age; when his friends call him to play he starts crying. My parents and I think he needs a psychiatrist, but when we tell him that we will take him to one he starts crying and says that he is not mad. What should we do?
Jhanvi / Lucknow
Dear girl, the behaviour of your brother is really a cause of concern for the family. It is the duty of your parents to seek proper advice from a medical and psychological point of view. Let them deal with this matter. You can pray to God for the well-being of your brother. |
 They have lost their trust in me |
I am a 16-year-old guy in Std X. I have just a few months to go for my board examination and though not so good in studies I know I can do it. But some people seem to have lost their faith in me. Still I am holding on and want to prove that I can get excellent results. Sometimes their attitude discourages me. The people who have lost their trust I believe is my English teacher and science teacher. I don’t know what to do in such a situation where no one believes in me.
Pradip P. / Kolkata
Dear boy, if you believe that two of your teachers “have lost their trust” in you, speak to them and try to find out the reason. The fact that you are “not so good in studies” and maybe, are not working hard to prepare for your board examination could be the cause of their changed attitude towards you. Trust your teachers; they have at heart your success in studies and in life. |
Always attracted to boys |
I am a 15-year-old girl. I know all about sex. But nowadays I am always attracted to boys. This affects my studies a lot. Though I do not interact with boys, something is distracting me. How do I get rid of these feelings?
Shweetha / Chennai
Dear girl, if it is true that you “know all about sex” you should be aware of the physical and emotional changes taking place during the teenage. When a child starts growing into an adult, he/she experiences the urge of sexual feelings and attractions between the sexes. These changes are normal and necessary in order to prepare a person for the task of forming a family and procreating new life. Keep your mind busy with your studies, friends and family duties and do not worry about the unavoidable attractions you are experiencing; they will be with you for the rest of your life. |
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with the subject line ‘Ask Dr. Grugni’