GROWING UP AND OUT
Most of us are prepared to deal with the obvious physical changes of growing up. Girls expect their breasts to grow and guys expect to become more muscular. But the body often goes through other changes before, during, and after puberty - and sometimes these changes can be very different from the ones we expect to happen. For example, both girls and guys may notice themselves growing in unfamiliar places, such as the butt or belly. Or they may grow taller and skinnier.
Some people get a temporary layer of fat to prepare the body for a growth spurt. Others fill out permanently. Some people eat healthy foods and work out but still gain weight. Others chow down on everything in sight and still stay skinny.
The changes that come with puberty can affect how both girls and guys feel about themselves. Some girls may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about their maturing bodies. Others may wish that they were developing faster. Girls may feel pressure to be thin but guys may feel like they don't look big or muscular enough.
Eventually it all balances out and most people adjust to how their "new" body moves and works. But it can take some getting used to. What happens to people physically during puberty can influence how they feel about their bodies and themselves for a long time to come.
Take Nikki, for example. She was an accomplished dancer with her heart set on following her mother's career in ballet. But at 13, Nikki grew several inches taller and developed the kind of figure most girls long for - unless they're dancers. Nikki's friends envied her curves, but Nikki felt heavy and awkward. Now 19, Nikki says it took her longer to get over the false perception of herself as a fat girl than it did to let go of her dreams of being a dancer.
ADJUSTING TO A NEW BODY
Adjusting to a changing body is about more than just looks, though. Lots of teens base their self-image on how their bodies feel and perform. Until a year ago, Sunil, 15, was a lean, fast sprinter who could always be relied on to win the race for his track team. Wes has ADHD, and some days it seemed like running was the only thing he could do well. So when he started developing a stockier, more muscular physique and his sprint times got longer, Wes' confidence took a serious bruising.
Changes in our bodies' appearance, performance - even such minor details as the way they smell - are all perfectly normal parts of growing up. So what can you do to help yourself adjust physically and emotionally? Here are some ideas.
Beware - don't compare! It's natural to look at our friends for comparison. But it's not a good idea. Comparing ourselves with others is problematic because everyone develops differently and at different times. If you go through a growth spurt early, you may feel too tall. Yet your friend may be thinking that he or she is too small. It's usually hardest for the people who develop first or last.
It's also a bad idea to compare ourselves with celebrities and models. In reality, most people don't look like the limited body types shown in the media. (Actually, the models often don't look like that either: Many of those "perfect" bodies got that way through photo editing, not nature.) Ads sell fantasy, not reality.
Treat your body well. Making educated choices about food and exercise is part of developing a mind and life of your own. Healthy eating and exercise can also give you some control over how your body turns out and it is a mood booster too. Taking yoga, martial arts classes, or other activities that involve focusing on how the body stretches and moves can help you become familiar with your body.
Befriend your body. Feeling like you don't know your body anymore? Just like a friendship that grows and evolves, keeping in touch with our bodies takes time. Like friends, our bodies can let us down at times. But with a little work and understanding, it's possible to bounce back.
Walk tall - even if you're not! What people do notice is how you project your feelings about yourself. If you think you're too tall, it will be more noticeable if you slump over and try to look smaller. If you're self-conscious about your pimples, hiding behind your hair may cover the zit on your cheek - but you'll look awkward and uncomfortable.
As your body changes, it can help to work on good posture and walk with a sense of confidence. After doing this for a while, you'll probably become more confident too.
There's not much you can do about your height or development, but you can focus on the things that you really like about yourself. Maybe it's your curly hair or the dimple you get when you smile. Maybe it's that you are a really thoughtful person or you are good at making people laugh. Ultimately, when you think of the people in your life that you care about the most, what they look like probably has very little to do with how much you like them.
MORE CURVES AHEAD
Just as you get used to your new shape, it will probably change again. The later teens and early twenties are (yet again) a time when the body and mind take another step in maturing and changing. For both girls and guys, this means filling out a little more so that they look more like adults and less like teens.
If our bodies had owners' manuals, they'd tell us to keep them clean, provide them with fuel, and offer them some stimulating activity. But our bodies are human, too, and they do best when they're loved.
SELF-ESTEEM & BODY IMAGE
Self-esteem is all about how much people value themselves, the pride they feel in themselves, and how worthwhile they feel. Self-esteem is important because feeling good about yourself can affect how you act. A person who has high self-esteem will make friends easily, is more in control of his or her behavior, and will enjoy life more.
Body image is how someone feels about his or her own physical appearance. For many people, especially those in their early teens, body image can be closely linked to self-esteem. That's because as kids develop into teens, they care more about how others see them.
If you have a positive body image, you probably like and accept yourself the way you are. This healthy attitude allows you to explore other aspects of growing up, such as developing good friendships, growing more independent from your parents, and challenging yourself physically and mentally. Developing these parts of yourself can help boost your self-esteem.
A positive, optimistic attitude can help people develop strong self-esteem. Knowing what makes you happy and how to meet your goals can help you feel capable, strong, and in control of your life. A positive attitude and a healthy lifestyle (such as exercising and eating right) are a great combination for building good self-esteem.
© 1995-2009 The Nemours Foundation/Kids Health.
Reprinted with permission.
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HOW YOU CAN IMPROVE YOUR BODY IMAGE
Some people think they need to change how they look or act to feel good about themselves. But actually all you need to do is change the way you see your body and how you think about yourself.
1. Recognize that your body is your own, no matter what shape, size, or colour it comes in.
2. Identify which aspects of your appearance you can realistically change and which you can't. Everyone (even the most perfect-seeming celeb) has things about themselves that they can't change and need to accept - like their height, for example, or their shoe size.
If there are things about yourself that you want to change and can (such as how fit you are), do this by making goals for yourself. For example, if you want to get fit, make a plan to exercise every day and eat nutritious foods. Then keep track of your progress until you reach your goal. Meeting a challenge you set for yourself is a great way to boost self-esteem!
Try building your self-esteem by giving yourself three compliments every day. While you're at it, every evening list three things in your day that really gave you pleasure. It can be anything from the way the sun felt on your face, the sound of your favourite band, or the way someone laughed at your jokes. By focusing on the good things you do and the positive aspects of your life, you can change how you feel about yourself.
Body Dysmorphic Disorder
It's normal to have a few minor complaints about your looks, but a focus that's too intense can signal a problem. Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a mental health condition in which people are so preoccupied with what they believe are defects in the way they look that they spend hours of time and attention every day checking, fixing, or hiding appearance flaws. This body image disorder interferes with a person's ability to function or be happy, and requires a professional's help.
“I’d much rather be known as some curvy Kate than as some skinny stick.”
Hollywood actress Kate Winslet
A person who has high self-esteem will make friends easily, is more in control of his or her behavior, and will enjoy life more.
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