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(Peter was dancing at his maths test)
Girl: "Why are you dancing?" Peter: "Teacher said that I'll get marks for each step." Astha Singh Anil: "Madhu, what do you call your mother?" Madhu: "Mum, of course." Anil: "Okay. But what about your mother's elder sister and younger sister?" Madhu: "Aunty. Why, what would you say?" Anil: "Maxi-mum and Mini-mum." Shweta Mhatre / Don Bosco School, Nerul 
Q: What do you call a dinosaur wearing a blindfold?A: Do-you-think-he-saw-us!
Wife: "Where's my birthday gift?"
Husband: "Can you see that red hot Ferrari on the other side of the road?" Wife (excited): "Yes!" Husband: "I'm going to buy you nail polish of the same colour!" Sharon Monis "Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards." "I'll deal with you later." A moron calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly from Delhi to London?" "Just a second," says the operator. "Thank you." says the moron and hangs up. |
Customer: "Waiter, I'd like to cancel my order for fresh fruit salad."
Waiter: "I am sorry, sir, but the cook has already opened the tin." Two thieves were robbing an apartment. First thief: "I hear the owner coming! Quick, jump out the window!" Second thief: "Are you crazy? We're on the thirteenth floor!" First thief: "This is not the time to be superstitious!" 
Angry judge in court: "Order, Order!"
Defendant: "If you insist, I'll have a chicken burger." There are normally 3 stages of illness... 1st stage: ILL 2nd stage: PILL 3rd stage: BILL ... and sometimes the fourth stage: WILL 
Customer: "Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!"
Waiter: "Don't worry, sir, the spider in your salad will get it!" 
Store owner: "This computer will reduce your work load by 50%."
Customer: "Great! Give me two!" |
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