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BACK ISSUES | JANUARY 2010 | CURRENT ISSUE
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Ask Dr Grugni
DR ANTHONY GRUGNI, MD, answers your questions
with concrete and practical tips to help you tackle
important and troubling issues.
 No one to talk to |
I am a very sensitive and emotional girl. I have two sisters, my mom and dad in my family. I am the middle one. My family finds me boring and whenever I talk to them about my aspirations they laugh at me. I just cry in one corner of my heart. I don't have any one to talk to. I have many friends, out of them only one is very close to me but I have never shared something personal like this with her. May I?
Lonely (Age 16) / Jaipur
Dear (lonely) girl, the jovial and smiling attitude of your family members is the best answer to your worries and fear of loneliness. They love you and accept your ups and downs of mood, so common at your age. The best friends are not those who tell that you are always right and "very close" to you, but those who tell you when you are wrong and unnecessarily worried and upset. Talk frankly and openly to your family members, laugh with them and give them a big hug; you will never feel lonely again! |
 I want to make my parents happy |
I am a 13-year-old girl studying in Std VIII. I am the eldest child of my parents and very good in studies, but my parents expect more from me and I am not able to do that. They always compare me with other students. I sulk many times that I am not able to live up to their expectations and for this reason I also tried to commit suicide. I just want to make my parents happy and proud because I love them a lot. Please help me. Are there any other ways I can make them happy?
Shivi / J&K
Dear girl, if it is really true that you love your parents 'a lot' you cannot make them happy by attempting 'suicide' and 'sulking' often in the family to express dissatisfaction and resentment. The high expectations of your parents are an expression of their love for you and desire that you achieve the best in life. If you are `not able to live up to their expectations` you have to enter into a loving and respectful dialogue with them in order to explain your possibilities. A teacher who knows you well can help your parents in understanding and encouraging you, appreciating your effort in studies. |
 I want to get rid of him |
I'm studying in college and teaching side by side. A boy who lives in front of my house keeps messaging me and disturbing me. Although he is an intelligent guy still I don't understand what's wrong with him. I don't like him; he called me up and said he likes me and I was just speechless! I told him that this is too much and "sorry to say what you want cannot happen". Then he asked if we could be friends and I agreed but I really want to get rid of this guy. What should I do?
Sim (Age 18) / Delhi
Dear girl, I wonder how that boy got your phone number. Did you give it to him? If you want 'to get rid of this guy' you should not answer his phone calls and entertain talks about love and friendship with him. If he is 'disturbing' you and you feel that something is 'wrong with him' you should inform your parents and they will talk to him and to his family. |
I don’t like Hindi movies |
I am 13-years-old and pretty crazy about English music and novels. The problem is that my friends think that I am just showing off about music and books and tease me for not knowing much about Bollywood. The truth is that I really don't like Hindi movies and their music, so for that reason they don't like talking to me. Help!!!
Lamya / Nerul, Navi Mumbai
Dear girl, you have to choose between being popular and accepted by your friends, pretending to love Hindi movies and music (which you don't) or continuing to enjoy English music and novels. Now, as for the rest of your life, you have to decide between being yourself and do what you think best for you or do what your friends want you to do. This is called 'peer pressure'. Remember, anyhow, that a certain amount of compromising can help you in life. Though not 'crazy' about Hindi movies and music, you could at least try to get some basic knowledge of them, in order to keep in touch with the feelings of other youth of your age. |
E-mail your queries to editorial@theteenagermag.com
with the subject line ‘Ask Dr. Grugni’