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Other people’s anger
Dealing with your own anger is difficult enough, but coping with the anger of others can be even harder. The same skills can work for both, though: Be honest and direct. Try to stay calm and relaxed and avoid aggression (yours or the other person's!). You can't control how other people feel, but you can keep from making the situation worse by overreacting.
Anger can go hand-in-hand with violence, especially when emotions get out of control. Sure, violence was easy to find - it was there on TV every night just as it is now, but somehow it didn't seem so close. It was on the streets, in other countries or neighbourhoods... out there somewhere for many of us.
Now, violence is everywhere... in video and convenience stores, fast food places, the music on the radio... schools, not only inner-city schools, but small town and rural schools. It's unpredictable, sudden, and scary. So, most of us don't think about it - or we try not to, because it makes us uncomfortable, but violence can catch up to you when you're not paying attention.
So we talk about it, and try to teach ways to avoid it - but the only thing we really know is that we don't know when or where it will happen, and that means we have to prepare for it...
From Mad to Mean
One of my best friends in high school was extremely loyal- she put up with my moods, was there when I needed her,
and stuck by me no matter what. Still, one day I was so angry
with her that I wouldn't talk to her. I made sure that I was extra-nice
to everybody else that I saw that day, so she would be sure to know
that it was she alone that I was furious with. Finally, at the end of the day,
she burst into tears and yelled at me, "I hate it when you're like this!
I'd rather have you just yell at me and get it over with than not talk to me!
You're not even giving me a chance to apologize!" I still can't remember
why I was so mad at my friend that day. But I don't think I'll ever forget
the look on her face - and how awful I felt for really hurting a true friend.
How much better it would have been for both of us if I'd been straight
with her and told her how I felt right away!
1. Avoid situations (with places or people) that you know are dangerous.
2. Always walk quickly, with confidence.
3. Avoid gangs.
4. Avoid giving out your phone number or address to strangers.
5. Carry yourself with pride - don't look like a victim.
6. Avoid isolated areas.
7. Go to the nearest open business or familiar home if you think you're being followed.
8. Yell "Fire!" if you are attacked - yelling "Help!" can scare people away.
9. Pair up after dark and tell an adult where you're going - don't be out alone.
10. If you know someone is considering violence (against themselves or others), tell someone who can help.
Violence can't always be avoided, but if you stay alert and trust your instincts (those little hairs on the back of your neck...), you'll be doing your part in keeping yourself safe. Part of feeling good about yourself is having the confidence in yourself to know that you can make smart choices and handle or avoid dangerous situations.
