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BACK ISSUES | MAY 2010 | CURRENT ISSUE
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MAY 2010
ASK DR GRUGNI
DR ANTHONY GRUGNI, MD, answers your questions
with concrete and practical tips to help you tackle
important and troubling issues.
I want to be her friend |
I am a 17-year-old student of Std XI in love with a girl in my class since the last 3 years. I have talked many times with her but only about academics. I want to be friends with her but I can't go to her and talk directly because she is always with her friends. During recess she always looks at me. I think she also wants to talk but she doesn't because of her friends. What should I do?
Pritam / Hazaribag
Dear Pritam, if in three years you (and her) have not been able to express any feeling of friendship and are discouraged by the presence of her friends, it means that you are not yet ready to handle this kind of relationship. Friendship is a form of love that has to be born freely in two (or more) person's hearts and does not need many words. Have patience and continue talking to her in a friendly way; if your feelings are sincere she may start responding to you. |
I don't know what happens to me |
I had a boyfriend. Now we are no more in relationship. But whenever I see him I don't know what happens to me. I sometimes even start crying and remembering the moments we spent together. I cannot concentrate on my studies. Please help me.
Troubled girl (Aged 14) / Mumbai
Dear girl, as your relationship with that boy has come to an end, stop living in the past and concentrate on the present. Emotional ups and downs are common at your age and crying over past memories is useless; stop crying and start enjoying your beautiful teenage! |
I guess he loves me |
I'm a 15 year old girl. My father is a businessman and has many business friends and one of them is very close to dad. He has a son and I really love him but he is eight years older than me. I love him from the age of 10. I guess he even loves me. Sometimes he's so nice and caring and says sweet words. I like being with him. I like everything about him. Whenever we are alone he comes near to me and I really like it. This has happened twice or thrice. I am a regular reader of The Teenager and have read all the issues since the age of 11 and I know how you solve such problems. Please don't say that these feelings will change because of teenage as I know that they won't.
HQ
Dear HQ, the fact that a young man of 23 behaves in a 'nice and caring' way with a girl of 15, daughter of the best friend of his father, does not mean that he is in love with you. Your 'guess' is probably wrong, as he never mentioned anything to you. Don't allow your emotions to mislead you. He is being polite; you do the same with him. |
He proposed to my 'enemy' |
I'm a 15 year old girl. A boy who says that I'm his best friend shares all his problems with me and tells me everything. I started liking him but he proposed to another girl who is my enemy! And she accepted. That girl is ill-natured and totally characterless. On my birthday he gifted me chocolates and on friendship day gave me a very cute band but not her, even though she was his girlfriend. He doesn't like it when I talk about some other boy to him and I think he secretly likes me too because once he asked me that if he proposes what will be my answer? Then I didn't know that I liked him. I just want him to leave her because she is just using him. Help me!
Sweety / Allahabad
Dear Sweety, you did not mention the age of that boy and I presume he must be approximately of your age or little older. Both of you are emotionally confused and inexperienced. At this age, boys are frequently motivated by physical attraction in their relationship with girls. Their 'love' proposals are just passing infatuations, which may be made to different girls from time to time. This is what seems to be happening between that boy and you. Keep the relationship in the limits of friendship and do not accept proposals which, at your age, have nothing to do with true love. It is more important that you concentrate on your family and studies. |
She said "no" |
I am a 15 year old boy. There is a girl in my tuition class whom I'm attracted to. I love her very much. I proposed to her one day and she said "no". My cousin sister says that she loves me and will do anything for me. My cousin says that she has the same feeling towards me that I have for her. I don't know if my cousin sister is telling me the truth. I don't know whom to trust. Please help.
Ebenezer Lyall
Dear Ebenezer, feeling 'attracted to' a girl does not mean that you are in 'love'. It is just a matter of attraction and infatuation. Anyhow, she openly said "no" to your proposal and that should have made you understand that she is not interested in this relationship (whatever your cousin sister may say). Let that girl live in peace and concentrate on her studies; you should do the same. |
