I’m in love with my teacher
I am a girl of 17 studying in Std. X, and in love with my own teacher. I can't concentrate on my studies due to this. I can't express my love for him, as he is my teacher. Please help me, as I am still a student.
N.S. / Meghalaya
We cannot always control our feelings, as to when we will have them or not. But we can control whether we give in to them or not. If a sweet is put in your mouth, you cannot control or stop the taste of sweetness, but you can choose whether to enjoy the taste or spit the sweet out of your mouth. So, also falling in love can (and often does) happen without our willing it, but we can control whether we give in to it or not. Love is a wonderful feeling, but that does not mean that we give in to it without thinking. Feelings are not rational. The control of our feelings must come from our intellect or reason. You know that you cannot follow your feelings, as getting married to him is out of the question. That is why you need to control your interest in him. Your intellect is right in telling you that such a relationship is out of place. Follow your intellect in this, and distract yourself when you find it difficult to get him out of your mind.
I want to see my mother and brother
I am a boy of 18. When I was 12, for a small reason, I left home, leaving my mother and brother. After that I did nothing about them and went into an orphanage. Now I am studying in Std. XII. Suddenly I remember them and I want to see them at any cost. Why? I don't know. I do not know what made me do that. I am sick mentally. To go back and search is very difficult, as I have forgotten the place. I know the place, but not the name of the place. Because of this I am not able to study. What should I do? Is there any chance of meeting them again?
P.C.F. / Lucknow
What happened to you is unfortunate. We all have our roots in our families and want to know them. It helps us to know ourselves and gives us a sense of belonging. As you were 12 when you left, you will know the name of the village or district. Perhaps the authorities of your orphanage or a social worker will help you trace your village and how to go there. Once you reach the village, you will recognise many of the houses, and should be able to find your way to your house. It is only six years since you left home and so your memory is still strong. Once you go there, your old memories will come back and you will be able to recall where you stayed and find your family and be reunited with them. I am sure they will be very happy to see you again.
I can’t concentrate on my studies
I am a girl of 16 studying in Std. X. My problem is that I can't concentrate on my studies. I feel lazy to study and I do not know why. I do not watch T.V. nor do I study. I just spend my time talking with my friends, after that I want to sleep. My exams are near, but I still can't bring myself to my books. Please help me get rid of my laziness, because I want to study hard.
R.M.S. / Meghalaya
If you do not have a proper method of study and so find it difficult, your nature will try to avoid difficult tasks by working out a hundred excuses. Anything is better than tackling a problem you do not know how to handle. Work out a method of study for each subject and a timetable - when you are going to finish each chapter and by what date. Work out a method of reading each chapter, understanding it, and then making a written summary in the form of a flow-chart that will make the task easier, both to study and above all to answer a question. A flow chart involves writing the main points, sub-points and sub-sub points in the form of a chart. Don't write sentences but just a few words for each point. This will reduce the load on your memory and help in answering exams, as you now have clearly the points required to answer each. For maths, the only method is practice. Once you set yourself a timetable and make flow charts, you will see how easy study becomes.
