Communicating with youngsters gets more challenging as they get older. Here are some suggestions to improve your relationship with your teenager. You will discover even more meaningful ways to maintain and deepen the connection with your teen.
Compliment your teen on a regular basis
Give teens just one compliment each day for one month and then record any differences in your relationship with them. Without exception, these "compliment prescriptions" always result in an improved relationship at the end of the month. The compliments
should not be forced (fake) and do not have to be on a grand scale.
Comments like these will work just fine: "Your hair looks great that way. I like how you rearranged your room; it really reflects your personality."
Don't dismiss your teen's broken heart
Don't treat your teen's broken heart in a dismissive manner, like it's no big deal: "There are plenty of fish in the sea. He didn't deserve you anyway. What can you know about being in love at 15?"
Remember, when you were a teen how you felt when you got dumped by your first love? Give your teen empathy, understanding, and a soft place to fall!
Make memories with your teen
Surprise your teen with a scrapbook of pictures that you've taken of him/her, from babyhood to his/her present age. If you have them, include a few pictures of you and him/her together.
Go on a “date” with your teen
Ask your teen if you could share a regular "date" with him every couple of weeks (or every week if he/she is game), where the two of you go out for lunch or to see a movie. What's most important is your expressing a desire to do something with him/her.
Involve your teen
Get your teen involved in family decisions: what colour to paint the house, which car to purchase, which vacation spots to visit, etc.
Volunteer together
Establish a family volunteer tradition, where you both volunteer together at least once a month at places like a family shelter, children's hospital or nursing home.
Don't shut them out
If a family member is sick, encourage your teen to spend time with them. Although they may be scared and hesitant to visit, teens do not want to be shut out from seeing family members whom they have loved all their lives. Give them realistic expectations of what to expect and accompany them if you sense they need your presence.
Appreciation counts
Write your teen occasional notes of appreciation, gratitude, and love, and leave them in sealed envelopes on his/her pillow.
More than words
Use a picture of your teen or one of you and your teen as your computer's screensaver. Consider what that might signify to him/her. Every time you or he/she uses the computer, there he/she is. It's another version of keeping a picture of her in your wallet, but with much more visible impact.